Yes It's a Big Deal: Spencer's Best of 2008 Pix

Here goes.

Best book about basketball that's not really about basketball

Rabbit, Run by John Updike



As an author of fiction, Updike writes rings around the rest. As a young (i.e. sensitive, arrogant) American man, this book means a lot to me.

Best rock 'n' roll band that makes me wish I had a raspy voice and really good hair

The Replacements



I love these guys. Filthy, immature: they had a tendency to romanticize. Listening to songs like "Androgynous," "Kiss Me On The Bus," and "Sky Way," it's hard to deny that–as a songwriter–Paul Westerberg is a living national treasure. According to Spin, he's started playing hockey and still lives in Minneapolis. You've gotta admire that.

Best rock 'n' roll band whose members I'd probably hate if I knew them personally

The Royal We



This band is now defunct. Their songs are awesome, but betray an artiness that makes me think I'd constitutionally despise at least one or two members. They made one self-titled record and then broke up, so they've got mystique. Two things. "All The Rage" is what happens when the Vaselines O.D. on Pixy Stix. "Back and Forth All Day" is the rawest campfire gold.


Favorite rookie in the NBA

Courtney Lee - The Orlando Magic



Perhaps an obvious choice for me, especially since I don't really know how any of the other picks have done thus far. I feel some pity for Kevin Love. Not so much because he's on the T-Wolves but because I read a blog entry around Thanksgiving where he just came across as really sad and homesick. It was enough for me to forgive him Mike Love's nephew status.

As for Lee, he plays an admirable defensive game, characterized by that most glorious stalwart of urbanized sports terminology: hustle. He can sink the three, drive the lane, and is seriously impassive on the court.

Favorite Coach in the NBA

Stan Van Gundy - The Orlando Magic



Where to begin? There's the 'stache, the 'tude, the head in the hands. This guy is the complete package: lovable neurosis wrapped up in a Miami Vice sports coat. His brother Jeff is kind of a douche, but still somewhat cool.

Favorite Point Guard in the NBA

Tie:

Chris Paul - The New Orleans Hornets

AND

Jameer Nelson - The Orlando Magic



Paul:
Shitty deodorant commercials aside, this guy plays ball with a flair far too uncommon in today's Celtics-dominated league. He zips left, he spins right. He can hoist the J. He can pass it behind the back and spot the alley-oop three moves ahead. They say he's like Isiah Thomas, I can't vouch for that. He bowls in the high two hundreds.



Nelson:
Nelson was my least favorite player last year. This year he's making us all eat our words. He was player of the week in the East last week and for good reason. "My Little Friend" indeed.

Best Blast from the Past

The Brotherman OST



I can't say enough about this album. All I'll say now is "We Can Work It Out." As for this picture, the words "outta sight" fail me.

Best Country in the World

The U.S.A.



I love this place, so let's get one thing straight: we're not any more a bunch of bastards than the next country is, so the rest of you should please get over yourselves. Think long and hard and remember who gave you Rock 'n' Roll, the quarter-pounder w/ cheese, AND the game of basketball. See? We've always had your best interests at heart.

Best Car

Dad's Hyundai. I'm not sure what model it is. It's gray and has a working CD player and gets good gas mileage. Sorry, Detroit.


My dad's car looks nothing like this.

Best Rap Group

A Tribe Called Quest



I didn't like rap for a long time. These guys showed me how cool it is. Went to a Q-Tip show this month that was A-C-E.

Most Rock 'n' Roll Moment

Meeting Mark E. Smith with Justin and Ryan in Morecambe, UK. The definition of surreal.



The Annual Bill and Ted Most Excellent Babe Award

Beth Murphy - Times New Viking





Times New Viking are an amazing live band. Their keyboard player and singer, Beth Murphy, is extremely attractive. She also rocks. Killer. I read somewhere that she is a Pisces. I am a Pisces. We would probably never get along.

Coolest thing Julian made me check out

Francine



Francine is a gorgeous band from Cambridge, MA. Gorgeous songs that reference stuff like the movies Dune (the one starring Sting) and Aliens (one of my all-time faves), all written by this cool dude who works at Harvard and used to play with Aimee Mann. I even reintroduced the word "nasty" as a synonym for "cool" into my vocabulary just because of these guys. They say a new record is coming along any day now. Certainly it will be A+


Coolest thing to do back home

Watching basketball games in HD with the 'rents and the sib or else with the broheims while drinking Sam Adams Winter Lager.

Most Rock 'n' Roll Venue

Market Hotel, Bushwick, BKLYN, NY

Hopefully a film will be made about the scene one day and I will be interviewed by someone about it. I will talk about this place fondly, how glad I am that it exists even though I would be the vomitron if I had to live there.

Best Sweet Hook-up

Getting to see shows for free because I write cheeky reviews about them for PopMatters

So sweet. Hope yr. jealous.

Best thing about being graduated from college



The world is my öyster.

See you next year, friends.

ST

Check the Rhime

Magic vs. Celtics

This from Orlando Magic Blog:

-The "Big Three" of Boston (Kevin Garnett, Pierce, and Allen) combined for 60 points on 22 of 37 shooting and 12 of 14 free throw shooting with 17 rebounds
-The "Big Three" of the Magic (Howard, Lewis, and Turkoglu) combined for 63 points on 23 of 51 shooting and 14 of 21 free throw shooting with 27 rebounds

[...]

-The Magic used just a 7 man rotation, as Lee and Tony Battie were the only reserves to see action

Enough is enough, we need some worthwhile players on the bench. Ditch Cookie and pick up some second-quarter heroes that can deliver those precious points. Jesus, Otis. And $hard, seriously dude, willya just take one for the team and give back a couple mill?


Sadly, not this time...

Re: "The Miseducation of Katy Perry" by Justin Spees

Carrie Underwood: hate-monger? Artistically speaking, yes.


Justin Spees is a superb writer and budding social critic whose name you will one day attempt to drop at silly cocktail parties of the not-too-distant future. When that day finally arrives, you will likely be met with a number of puzzled, illiterate stares and the subject will be changed to something boring, like musical theater. If you’re lucky, though, there will be someone tremendously cool at the party and you will become friends.

What can you do to get in on the ground floor? Well, the guy writes for this vaguely NYU-related site called "NYU Local." It has lots of sections and they have a blog. You can check that out by locating your browser right here.

Anyhow, I recently read Spees’ article "The Miseducation of Katy Perry," a piece that I would call highly insightful if that wasn't now such a dead way to describe things accurately. Alternatively, it could be called Orwellian in its attempt to convey meaning and Christgau-ian (Christ-like?) for its paper-dry sense of humor. Either way, these statements are intended as sincere praise.

Now, this article of his got me thinking (tangentially) a bit about the subject of what Nick Cave calls the “hate song," a song of supposedly innocuous pop manufacture that’s actually–when one considers it thoroughly–highly offensive to humankind in its message. "I Kissed A Girl" and "Ur So Gay" may or may not be representatives of this reprehensible category. I honestly haven't given them as much of a chance as Spees seems to have done. As I understand his article, he's been able tease out a meaning to which most would be wholly oblivious.

But what, specifically, is a hate song? What's an example of one? Let's use a song that, by now, is relatively old and passé. I would pick something more current, but I simply don't spend much time keeping up with this sort of stuff. The song I would like to talk about right now is "Before He Cheats," a crossover country hit by American Idol Carrie Underwood. I've been hearing this song a great deal over the last year (I heard it today) and it's really starting to make me sick.

"Before He Cheats" is a hate song for one primary reason. It's completely materialist. For this reason, it conveys the impression that love and its surrounding passions are bound up in a sense of commodity. Here's its culprit chorus:

"And he don't know...

That I dug my key into the side of his
Pretty little souped up four wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights
Slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats"

Okay, we get the point, Carrie, you're pissed and you're going to make this dude pay. In cold, hard cash. The idea that someone would, in a fit of rage, do something similar to what she’s describing above is, of course, not unbelievable. In fact, and especially after someone goes and makes a hit song about this kind of behavior, this might even happen all the time. One huge problem with this song is that it's only about defacing personal property–it has nothing to do with natural human emotion. Another huge problem with this it is that it purveys a personal reaction to betrayal that is flagrantly irresponsible in a moral sense.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I'm pissed that she's busting up some guy's car. I'm saying that there's not a shred of dignity that can come of this act and that a more realistic song, a genuine love song, would zero in on the way human beings actually turn betrayal into any number of complex internal monstrosities. Let's put it this way: no one who has suffered a genuinely painful betrayal ever wrote an emotionally revealing or effectual song about what they did to the betrayer's car or TV or autographed baseball jersey. In it's own way, "Before He Cheats" makes a mockery of humanity. It belies the depth of human grief and the numbing quality of actual trauma. This is clearly acceptable in the modern marketplace. Is anyone as upset about this as I am? I’m not even a socialist, I swear!

“The Miseducation of Katy Perry” is available for your reading pleasure at the following link: http://nyulocal.com/entertainment/2008/11/10/the-miseducation-of-katy-perry/#more-4361

Read it, kids.

Magic vs. Pacers Pt. 1

Final (OT):
Magic - 100 Pacers - 98

The Magic pull it off thanks to Rashard playing his ass off in OT. 23 points, 5 boards, and 6 steals is just the sort of stat line we need to start seeing from this dude on a regular basis. D12 notches his usual double-double and makes a clutch block in the final seconds, while Nelson is on point with a solid 22 points and 9 assists. Unsurprisingly, Hedo Turkoglu, née Mr. Fourth Quarter, managed to turn in one of his worst career games yet. Um, when's that trade deadline again?

Anyways, part II of what ought to be a pretty epic throwdown happens at Amway Arena exactly one week from now. More from our AH correspondents after the game.





Stay blue.

Blubberlubber the book, on sale now!

If you've read this blog in the past you may be familiar with the work of caricature artist Dan Hay. He keeps his own blog of daily sketches right here. It's called Blubberlubber and it's now available as a nasty new book.

You can buy said book at ArtSquared Books right here.

Support independent artists and publishing companies in one fell swoop!

Now, for your viewing pleasure, how's about a little stroll down memory lane? Take it away Johnnie!


Check out MC Cain's newest joint, Straight-talkin' O.G., available this holiday season at your local Wal*Mart!

The South Takes What the North Delivers...

Turn & burn, baby.

Who is this Anthony Morrow?

Who is the Batman?

How does an undrafted rookie bust out for 37 points and 11 rebounds in an opening gambit?

How emasculated is Baron Davis feeling right now?

The answer to these questions and more to be revealed in an all-new season of David Stern's The NBA.




Final: Clips - 121 Warriors - 103


By the way, Baron, you are still the man.

Dawn Of The Final Day

24 hours left. Let's do it.

Levi Stubbs (Four Tops) RIP

Stubbs had a ridiculous voice. He was "Audrey II" in Little Shop of Horrors.





Check him out here with the Four Tops:

Quite possibly the greatest thing ever

Bo Diddley at some festival




Colin Powell sez, "rock and roll!"

Closer than you know

"Androgynous" - The Replacements




Paul Westerberg - hero

Calling Sarah...

So now that Obama's victory is effectively assured, I would like to take this moment to nominate Lionel Richie for the highly esteemed position of Secretary of State. All in favor say "aye."





And this is anarchy, baby.

We Smoked Cigarettes And Wore Leather Jackets...

Barack Obama Tells a Story



Stop eating so many damn fries

awwwww shit, baby

Gold Soundz in '94


Why does anyone else even try?


PS The Brighten the Corners reissue comes out on November 18th.

It ain't easy being wheezie / "The Minister's Black Veil"

So there's this guy who stands out on the corner of Washington Place and Washington Square East. Right by the Silver Center at NYU. He's this really small, gnarly dude with a wicked comb-over and he's gotta be one of the most dedicated weirdos in the city. Monday to Thursday, every week, he comes out to his spot and just yells things like "10 minutes 'til 9:30 class!" Or, "LOOK BEFORE YOU CROSS!" These statements are generally punctuated by him getting physical with a nearby planter or railing. It goes without saying that you always feel as though you're being berated for something. Maybe it's for being associated with the number one real estate holder in the City. Maybe it's for being "fucking gentrified hipster assholes" (as relayed by Jazz Dave). Maybe it's just because the yelling triggers some reflex in me to start feeling guilty about something. Blame it on a Catholic education (rant essay in progress).

That's my segue. I want to speak briefly about Nathaniel Hawthorne's outstanding short story, "The Minister's Black Veil." This is mainly because I recently read it for class, but also because I feel that it handles the difficult subjects of guilt and repression in just the right ways. To a sensitive modern being, these subjects are, of course, bitterly important to me. This isn't to say, though, that "The Minister's Black Veil" is a story about self-pity.

Hawthorne, I've learned, was descended from the earliest Puritans. Now, the Bible has always seemed to me one of the most brutal and idiosyncratic texts out there, and for this reason, it seems to call out for parody/pastiche. As I see it, "The Minister's Black Veil" is a tale that takes the form of parable. Off the cuff, I'd say that Hawthorne writes his story in a way that inevitably leaves the reader reeling in an inexplicable half-smile (even if it's an internal one). His story is about the sense of loss and isolation that can be a constitutional element in some people. He understands that the tragic spirit - the ghost, or the spook - is something some people carry around with them like an invisible birth mark. Unlike some of his contemporaries, he isn't just trying to make you feel that sadness is sweetness wrapped in pain. Rather, the best parts of his story (much like the best of Poe) reveal savage truths about vanity, selfishness, and unarticulated rage. I, for one, enjoy the story's doom-y moral finality. I love that the preacher demands to be buried with the veil on.

I've read that Hawthorne was never really celebrated until he wrote The Scarlet Letter (which I haven't read), but "The Minister" is surely the work of a pretty brilliant guy. As for the way he dealt with his own fame or lack of it, he didn't really seem to care. In the preface to a reprinting of his Twice-Told Tales (from which "The Minister" comes), he's self-deprecating in a way that's even slightly irritating. I guess he couldn't be called a writer if this wasn't the case.

Recommendations?

More on Hawthorne at the Wikmachine.

Snickers, Eat Snickers!

.

Kanye West jayled!

Touchdown!!!!

I would assume that having the paparazzos incessantly hound you at airports would become an annoyance. I would assume, too, that being a major celeb involves several other downsides. Question: the point of these assumptions? Answer: perhaps the most unexciting post AH has seen in some days.

If you're not already clicking the "Back" button, you're perhaps desperately bored enough to note that jet setter / Daft Punk fan Kanye West lashed out at some photographers at the LA Airport yesterday morning, According to MSNBC, the artist's "notoriously fickle temper boiled over." And how. West was - presumably - seized and detained for a few hours. He was released on $20,000 bail - a sum he's likely to have forked over in "straight cash, homey!"

Randy Moss declined to comment on the events.

Ed: On a more serious note, Randy Moss is way cooler than Kanye West.

Hymns Gets (Somewhat) Timely, OR Why Suge Knight is One Scary Mofo

Marion "Suge" Knight was arrested and jailed a couple of weeks ago for beating the crap out of his girlfriend of three years. It all went down outside a Spearmint Rhino on the Vegas Strip at around 6:00am one Wednesday morning. Now, I always thought Suge was a terrifying person, but let's just see if we can get the facts (and, while we're at it, all the rumors) straight. So, according to the AP,

- He was convicted of assault in '92 and then incarcerated in '96 for 5 years for violating parole.

- In 2003 he returned to jail for a year after violating parole by punching out a Hollywood parking attendant.

- On top of these things, he's a total gangster. He was present in 1996 when Tupac was shot to death (this also happened in Las Vegas) AND he was wounded during a shooting at a Miami nightclub just three years ago.

Now, on top of all that, he's reputed to have hung Vanilla Ice upside down from a hotel balcony in the early nineties, demanding that he sign over his royalty rights to "Ice Ice Baby." This was done when he worked as Ice's bodyguard. It also may or may not be true, since Vanilla rescinded the claim later on (probably out of fear). Furthermore, Dr. Dre allegedly has a restraining order out on the guy AND suspicion continues to surround him regarding both the killings of Tupac and Biggie (this summer he was formally accused of sending death threats to one of the witnesses in the case).

As of April 2006, Death Row Records - the label he co-founded with Dre in '91 - is bankrupt. Knight recently announced his new label, BlackBall (Not this Blackball), as reported on AllHipHop.com. It's first signee is a dude called Young Life. Meanwhile, Suge has apparently self-produced a reality TV show called "Unfinished Business." Here's the Wiki down-low:

The show is based on Knight dispelling long-standing rumors in sit down interviews, his days with Death Row and the artists he worked with, and finding new talent for his record label. As of June 2008, the show has not been picked up by any major network.

Here's what Suge said to Urban Flavorz TV: "It ain’t like the fake reality shit." (Read more at AllHipHop.com)

I'd be willing to bet that this dude is seriously pissed right now. It goes without saying, then, that I fear for our man Young Life.

Click HERE for the "Unfinished Business" trailer at rapbasement.com


BELOW: So afraid of the Big Bad Suge





Yo VIP! Let's kick it!

The Box Tops: "The Letter"

What I'd like to dub "proportionally sound" blue-eyed soul. Alex Chilton would never again favor these vocal stylings, only occasionally pulling them out on tracks like "Don't Lie to Me." Enjoy.



Also, for those of you who don't know:




Pretty mega.

Goddam Job, Alcohol is the new Cocaine, Mavis Staples

Above: Unnamed smoothie company forces employees to wear banana suits. Bystanders play the world's smallest violin.

I.

I've had many gripes over my twenty-one years. I complain a lot, it's just something I do. It therefore goes without saying that whenever I try to look for a job, the process is never a quiet one. I suppose I should have expected nothing from the NYC job market. And, for what it's worth, I really did try to expect nothing. Still, the bitterness I feel about it remains. But what canya do? You try to get a job writing something for someone. Almost anyone. As long as it isn't that damn Skynet industries or whatever that's always looking for interns and journeymen and what-have-yous on craigslist. Don't they know they're responsible for the terminator and the destruction of human civilization as we know it? What do you have to settle for? An interview with some trendy 5 or 6 out of 10 star pizza joint. I really tried to expect nothing and triumph. I've seen it work out before. But really, the deal is that you've got to be superconnected in this town. To money. Ancient money. That, or you've gotta be Hollywood Actor Beck Bristow. Chrissakes.

For more "I hate jobs" related stuff. Go to CODE 11, a sweet blog.

II.

Alcohol is the new cocaine. In the '80s people did coke. Also, this was true of the '70s. In the '60s it was weed and acid and fungus. The '90s were all about speed and ecstasy. I feel like the aughts is a throwback decade. (Yes, that empty) Right now we're re-living the heady epoch that immediately followed Prohibition. This period is known as the Great Depression.

III.

Mavis Staples is incredible. If you think you don't know her, you probably do. Either that or you've never heard "I'll Take You There," which says a lot about your character. Specifically, that it wants edge and vitality. I'm sorry I'm being so vicious. Well, only slightly sorry.


Below: Mavis Staples - "Eyes on the Prize"

Keeping Them Honest

Last night I had the pleasure of staying up until 5 AM watching Team USA fend off the Spaniards right down to the wire for the gold medal. Having trampled the Spanish team with a 30+ point margin of victory when they met on the 15th, I naively assumed the Americans could just mail it in and win. Granted, I wouldn't have called it clean game by any stretch. The Spaniards fooled the officials with egregious flops throughout and were given free passes on several blatant travels. Priorities were placed squarely on offense, both teams ranged from mediocre to terrible on defense.

What caught me off guard was seeing guys like Juan Carlos Navarro and Rudy Fernandez cruising past NBA superstars for easy buckets. We all have our fantasy trade scenarios of seeing LeBron, Kobe, Kevin Garnett, and Dwight Howard on the same squad but watching the game last night put into perspective how stacking a team with immense talent doesn't equal easy success. I suppose you could also chalk up some of the deficiencies to Coach K's overly aggressive pressure defense method and the fact that the US team had to play small ball against the much taller Spanish team. I also don't particularly care for the distilled FIBA ruleset that overlooks key violations and rim interference.

All things considered, the offensive spectacle was visceral. Laser threes by Kobe and Wade, sharp cuts to the hoop by Lebron, and the occasional monster dunk provided by D12. In spite of the aforementioned, Team USA could never pull away for good as the Spaniards kept bringing themselves back into the contest. Their strength on the offensive boards truly brought pain upon the Americans, bringing their lead to just a few points as the fourth quarter began to wind down. With only a little over a minute left in the game, Kobe silenced all of Spain as he drew a 4-point play with a clutch three that benched Rudy Fernandez for the remainder of the game. The Spaniards lost their composure following that gaffe and earned a technical foul, by then it was essentially over as Springsteen's "Born In The USA" started playing over the arena PA while the American bench celebrated. Redeem team indeed, well done Team USA.




P.S. Carmelo Anthony still sucks.

Fats Wallin' - Here Comes Blubberlubber The Book!

For fans of cartoons the world over.

My friend Dan Hay, a cartoonist in Florida, is putting out a book of his one-a-day sketches entitled Blubberlubber. The book's going to be available online via artsquaredbooks.com very shortly. More details as they come...


Dan maintains a hilarious blog of the same name right here: CLICK ME!

"Goin' Back"

Fresh from viewing Christopher Nolan's entirely non-specific (though brilliant) noirish Gotham, my roommates and I are on the verge of signing a lease on a Brooklyn Appartment. Consequently I'm looking at a move back to the City in the coming weeks.

As for summertime in Florida, it's been like the ultimate (free) power cleanse. Don't call it that in public, though. It's the sweat, you know. The constant sweating, it, like, renews you. After a few minutes of "tha sweltah" you're basically beyond the point of complaint. Still, expect to hear things like, "This heat is just insane!" Just chime in with an affirmative response. Something like, "Amen brother!" will do. In the end it's all just an attempt at small talk. Your unconscious response to a lifetime of awkward silences.

I've never spent a summer in New York City. I guess if I had to put my expectations into words they would be: "tha sweltah 2: gittin' dirrrrtay"

Dirrrtay dirrtay,

ST

It's Still Half-Time, Right? (Update)

Best of '08 prospectives:

Best new albums:

Thirst for Romance - Cherry Ghost
Do You Like Rock Music? - British Sea Power

Best classic revisited

Whatever and Ever Amen - Ben Folds Five

Best new songs:

"Mysterious Skin" - Orphans & Vandals
"Gobbledigook" - Sigur Ros
"Hear Ya Dance" - Andre Miller & The New Orleans Hellhounds
"Hopscotch Willie" - Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks
"More News From Nowhere" - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Best comic book read:

Watchmen - Alan Moore
The Killing Joke - Alan Moore

Best sports team ever:

Orlando Magic

Best new film:

The Dark Knight

Best TV Show:

Battlestar Galactica

Most Commanding Presence:

Barack Obama

Hottest Babe on Plane:t

Hillary Rodham Clinton
Chan Marshall





More categories to come??

End Game

Here it comes....

The big K.O.

Expected on almost all fronts, but we all hoped it would go into round 3.

We'll see what happens in the off-season.

Stay tuned.

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds @ The Hammersmith Apollo

When I go to concerts these days I often feel like I’m getting prematurely old. Today, at the Nick Cave show in West London, I thought back to the times when I was in high school and I would stand outside venues an hour before the doors opened. Now I can barely make it through half the opening act’s set without a couple of cold ones. That said, there are different types of crowds. Mostly, I like mild mannered, doe-eyed crowds. This is at least true when I go to a dedicated concert venue (your Hard Rock’s and HOB’s etc.), as opposed to a bar that has live music (where I actually tend to enjoy the music more and more).

When you’re standing in that pit before the stage, legs about to buckle all night long, the last thing you need is some mysterious farter really getting carried away with his anonymity. There’s also the “pusher.” You know who I’m talking about: that guy/girl who weasels his/her way up to the front row with a mouth half-open and eyes glazed. Definitely trample material. Drunks I’m usually okay with, but not if they’re going to flail arms and legs throughout the set, effectively rendering my $30 ticket the bill for a weekend self-defense class.

So. By now you’ve guessed that I had a gripe or two tonight as I stood waiting around for the Bad Seeds to play.

How were they? Well, pretty great. Was I surprised? No. Why’s that?

YouTube.

It saddens me to admit, but the accessibility of so many great performances on the net has somewhat taken away from my concert-going experiences of late. It’s the curse of our age, I guess. Computers have opened up this massive gateway to us. In this sense, YouTube and other online media sites are about as helpful as they are hurtful to today’s artists. People just aren’t content with the good, or even the great anymore. It’s got to be phenomenal. It’s got to defy expectations, and expectations continue to soar.

As I watched Nick Cave rant and rave across the stage like one of the many mad preachers and bowery shamans that populate his lyrics, I wondered why I wasn’t more impressed. The Bad Seeds were spot on, the lighting was great, sound was pretty good, and Cave is every bit the continuous font of blistering energy that he’s cracked up to be. Still, I couldn’t help feeling slightly underwhelmed.

Is it just me?

I saw a girl next to me texting a friend. She wrote something like “They are playing mostly new songs. It’s good but then I’ve just seen them so many times.” I almost felt the same way, even though this was my first time seeing the band live. Between DVDs like God is in the House and YouTube videos, I felt as though I already had a good idea of what the Seeds would be like. They met all of my expectations a little too precisely.

There was Dirty Three main-man Warren Ellis looking scraggly as ever: the dead-eyed mystic of the band. Up on the stage-left riser—Mick Harvey, powerhouse drummer of the Seeds, Grinderman, and the Birthday Party. Still, everyone’s locked on Mr. Cave. The man has serious charisma.

As I mentioned, Nick Cave seems to have become a character in one of his songs. Perhaps tonight’s show was successful—at least to me—because it served to reaffirm this fact in my mind. A lot of the time it seems as though he’s method acting. While there were several highlights tonight, the real showstoppers tended to be the character studies. Songs like “Red Right Hand,” “Dig, Lazarus, Dig,” and “Stagger Lee.” Cave literally becomes these characters when he performs their songs. It’s actually pretty incredible. “Stagger Lee,” which closed out the night, was positively demonic.

Staring out into a heaving sea of admirers (Cave’s cult resembles Morrissey’s on a slightly smaller scale), Cave’s delivery was pure pyromania. “So he walked through the rain and he walked through the mud, ‘til he came to a place called the bucket o’ blood! Stagger Lee.” The Seeds’ aerial assault bears down like fire and brimstone, and it’s hard to imagine Stagger Lee being anyone other than Nick’s alter ego.

In this sense I really was pretty impressed. Staggered, even. Still, when I think back to those early shows I attended as a teenager: the thrill of rock ‘n’ roll still raging through my veins, I can’t help but feel a little disheartened by the way my experience of concerts has changed. Maybe I’ve just seen too many bands. That said, I saw people at the show tonight who were clearly between 40 and 50. How do they keep it up? Are they just mid-life crises? I swear there were five to ten people up front who watched the entire show through their cell phones and digital cameras. What’s that all about? Are we really that bored?

I think about how great the band was tonight. How little it affected me. Should I still expect revelations out of rock music? What do I have to do to recapture that thrill?

P.S.
Other highlights from the show included “Papa Won’t Leave You Henry” from Henry’s Dream and “Hold On To Yourself,” from the new Dig, Lazarus, Dig LP. Some songs that were unfamiliar to me, such as “Tupelo” and “Nobody’s Baby Now,” were also good.

Orlando Magic vs. Detroit Pistons (Game 3)

Not a sweep.

Trying out this new technique called "Dominance," Dwight Howard & the Orlando Magic brought some rusty Detroit Pistons to their knees tonight. If there's one thing I've learned about the NBA Playoffs this year, it's that home court advantage can make a whole universe of difference in a team's night.

The Magic stepped up its game as a team, to keep Motown under from start to finish. Furious defense and an equal turnover count (11 by both teams) contributed heavily.

Man of the hour was one Sweet Lew, who has grown over the last couple weeks to finally fill those big golden shoes we bought him in the off-season. No. 9 turned in a LeBron-esque night with 33 points, many of which were made up of morale-crushing three-pointers. Continuing along the road to greatness was the Howitzer, who added six blocks to his requisite double-double (20 pts, 12 rbs). Jameer Nelson played a superb game with 18, Dooling added a nasty 10 off the bench, and Hedo evidently remembered why we call him "Quatro," dropping another 18, which included some clutch mortar rounds when Rip Hamilton started looking hot.

It's a big win. No team who goes under 0-3 ever comes back to win a series. We've shown the Pistons we can deal with them. Still, it's just one win and it's a win at home. We're going to have to take the next game this Saturday, but more importantly, we have to win one at Auburn Hills.

As I noted in the last post, Chauncey Billups was the nightmare in Game 2. He got injured early in this contest, playing only four minutes. We can't forget what an incredible player this man is. If we let him run circles around us in Game 4, we're screwed.

The Magic shot absurdly well tonight. 53.8% of field goals went in. 45.8% of treys found their mark. We can be murderous when are shooting game is on. What worries me is that it's not going to be on all the time. The whole team played brilliantly tonight, but I hope they'll be able to keep up their intensity on the defensive end. We have to utilize our team's youth and height in the rest of this series. I trust head coach Stan Van Gundy to keep things in perspective, though. If we stay hungry in the paint and don't turn the ball over, we might just be able to send Detroit's old horse to the glue factory before long.

Final Score: Magic: 111 Pistons: 86

Orlando Magic vs. Detroit Pistons (Part Two)

Well, it's been no-go for victory in Detroit so far. That said, the fight that the Magic put up tonight in the third and fourth quarters gives me some hope that they can and will develop into a playoff-hardened team sooner or later. Player of the night was Jameer Nelson (22 points, 7 rebounds, 4 assists), who hit several threes to put us back in the game midway through the third when things were looking very bad. It wasn't enough, unfortunately, to hold back 2004 Championship MVP Chauncey Billups from tearing up the court all night.

What interested me about tonight's game is the fact that it was only Billups that seemed to give us major problems. Defensive play was tighter and the team was able to draw a lot of fouls from Detroit's front court. Antonio McDyess fouled out of the game in the fourth, Rasheed Wallace came close with 5 personal fouls, and Jason Maxiell had 4.

If Stan Van Gundy has in fact worked out a way of curbing at least some of Detroit's main threats (Wallace and Rip Hamilton in particular) then hopes ought to be high for the next two games in Florida.

Orlando Magic vs. Detroit Pistons (Game 2)

Last Saturday was awful. After being almost tied up at the half (43-42 Pistons), the Magic found themselves playing some of their worst basketball of the season. The Pistons have proven that they deserve to be where they are time and time again. They play well-balanced, and more importantly, consistent basketball.

Tonight we have to get a win. As much as I'd like the believe our players are able to put last year's horror story aside, I can't imagine it's not taking it's toll on their confidence. Yes, the Pistons were still hot from their win against the Sixers last week. Yes, the Magic were well-rested. There's no use trying to explain away the situation as it stands. If we don't win tonight, it's highly unlikely we'll be able to get up from under the boot. If we can get a win in Detroit now, we'll have the home court advantage we need to win this series.

Stan Van Gundy has undoubtedly been working these guys real hard over the past two days, retooling defensive match-ups and assessing Detroit's post-season shape. More importantly, though, our five starters need to shake the intimidation factor and get angry. There's been more than a little trash talk flying around recently, and it's getting to the point where something really needs to be done to counter it. A statement has to be made against this old-guard of the East. If we come out strong and turn up the energy on this aging team, we can very well win this.

Stats from Game 1 (from Orlando Magic Blog):

Orlando:

Hedo Turkoglu 18 pts (8 of 16 FGs), 7 rebounds; Rashard Lewis 18 pts (9 of 20 FGs), 7 rebounds; Dwight Howard 12 pts (5 of 11 FGs), 8 rebounds, 3 blocks. Bench: Keyon Dooling 7 pts (1 of 5 FGs)

Detroit:
Chauncey Billups 19 pts, 7 assists; Richard "Rip" Hamilton 17 pts, 6 rebounds; Jason Maxiell 12 pts, 9 rebounds, 3 blocks; Tayshaun Prince 12 pts, 8 rebounds, 5 assists. Bench: Antonio McDyess 10 pts, 5 rebounds.

Very few people take the Magic seriously. We've yet to prove ourselves as a winning franchise and it'll take a championship to silence the critics. Here's hoping they'll play their hearts out tonight and make an example of these jokers.

Orlando Magic vs. Detroit Pistons (Game 1)

I really don't want to talk about it.

Great Job Chris, but it's O-VAH!

Why Can't We Be Friends? Team USA in 2006. Bosh (2nd from Left) and Howard (Middle)

Props to Chris Bosh of the Toronto Raptors for his tenacity. He played his heart out during this last series, with an average of 24 points, 9 rebounds, and 4 assists. Tough luck Chris, maybe next year your team will play the Cavs or something.

Coldplay goes for broke on "Violet Hill," gets broke

"Hey Will? You as bored as I am?"

I just listened to the new Coldplay single. It’s absolute trash.

Move along everyone! Nothing to see here! The well is dry.

If you were to try and graph the quality of Coldplay’s material over the last six years, you’d find that this moment has been a long time coming. Which moment is that you ask? The moment these guys hit rock bottom.

I used to love Coldplay. I’ve played and continue to play Parachutes to death. 2002’s A Rush of Blood to the Head was arena rock, but there was still a heart beating somewhere in the midst of all the dry ice. The band was still writing great songs: “Amsterdam,” “Warning Sign,” “The Scientist”—these were all outstanding pop songs. Even the epidemic “Clocks” was pretty good.

Fast-forward to 2005 and the band’s just put out the lackluster X&Y. Suddenly Coldplay is a band for the emotionally stunted. You’ve got your choice between sappy or just plain uncool. Whaddaya want?

This new album, their fourth full-length in eight years, was their chance to shock us all. It was their chance to prove that the nuanced melancholy of Parachutes wasn’t just a fluke.

If this new single, “Violet Hill,” is any indication, this will be the worst Coldplay album yet. I really don’t want to jump the gun, but I can’t help it. The band worked with Brian Eno on this thing. BRIAN ENO!! Why does Chris Martin want to be Bono so badly??? What’s sad is that I thought Brian Eno would do them some good. I thought maybe his perfectionism would force them to cut the crap and get back to the sincerity of those early tunes.

On “Violet Hill,” Coldplay make a slapdash attempt to sound like a progressive rock band. Opening up with this ambient noise that’s definitely designed to make me write “ethereal,” the song unfolds extremely awkwardly. Within seconds of Martin’s first line, “It was a long and dark December,” we get a power chord riff that’s straight Brian May, followed by some lines that vaguely hint at a traumatic wartime experience. The refrain, “If you love me won’t you let me know,” sounds like it was a throwaway tidbit intended for use in a Kanye West collaboration. The ending, on the other hand, is supposed to be “classic” Coldplay. You know, the tried-and-true stuff. Just Chris Martin singing gently over his piano. It's as messy as it sounds here.

In 2008, Coldplay doesn’t really know what kind of band they want to be. The name of the new album is—get ready for it— Viva la Vida OR Death and All His Friends. It even has songs with multiple, sub-titled segments to them, just like King Crimson used to do! But Coldplay are absolutely not King Crimson. They’re not Radiohead either; not U2; hell, they're not even Oasis. At the end of the day they’re just four guys in London who make stylish MOR. This is now embarrassingly clear.

Still, don’t take my word for it:

“Violet Hill” – Coldplay (As Available on Coldplay.com)

Meanwhile, Gwyneth Paltrow co-stars in this summer’s Iron Man!!!





Woo-hoo!

Magic win in Round 1

I saw the above photo on ESPN.COM, and I had to add to my previous post. I can't sleep yet anyway. Let me just make clear, I've not been a dedicated Magic fan for long. I began to take interest in the team when my family hauled me along to a few games in the '06-'07 season. I followed casually from that point, and I completely missed the slaughter that occurred at the hands of the Pistons in last year's Playoffs (probably for the best). Halfway through this year something clicked, however, and now I can't get enough of this team.

In Orlando, right by our main highway, I4, there used to be a Magic store called the Fan-Attic. For the last ten years or so, it's been closed down. As far as I know, no one's bought the place and it just kind of stands there, sullenly sulking like the ghost of failure.

Well, now there could be a reason to reopen the place. What Howard, Turkoglu (who won this year's Most Improved Player Award), and Co. have achieved tonight is a true cause for celebration for Orlando fans. The curse clamped down on us in '96 has officially lifted. We go with our heads held high into round two. It'll be incredibly tough, especially if it does end up being against the Detroit Pistons, but we now have forward motion and a reason to be confident in ourselves. Even if we don't win in our second series, the '07-'08 Season will have been a success. Team building has to continue, but we've got one successful playoff experience under our belts, a solid coach with a great attitude, and a generous helping of phenomenal talent on our side.

Player of the night tonight is tough to judge, but I think it's gotta be Howard. With his third 20-20 stat sheet in the series, he's asserted and re-asserted his role as leader of this team. He's an All-Star with a great future ahead of him and he'll be our point-man on the rocky road to Championship contention in the coming years.

Congrats guys.

Orlando Magic vs. Toronto Raptors Game 5

Here's the stat sheet:

Howard: 21 pts, 21 rbs, 3 bs
Turkoglu: 12 pts, 8 rbs, 9 ast
Lewis: 18 pts, 13 rbs
Nelson:19 pts
Evans: 12 pts
Bogans: 11 pts
Dooling: 9 pts

WE WIN. 102-92. Ownership.

Lookout Round 2.

"Maybelline" (Live Chuck Berry Cover) - The Replacements

Just a quick post before the game starts. The Replacements are one of my favorite bands. I only stumbled upon them last year and if you're not familiar with them yet, this video is a good place to start. I also recently read a feature piece on PopMatters about the band, which I think is a great introduction as well. Anyway, the best part of the Replacements was their unique way of simultaneously subverting every rock cliche (posturing, gloating) as well as wholly succumbing to them (getting completely plastered before shows). On top of this, they played breakneck rock 'n' roll songs with interesting, insightful lyrics and an overwhelming sense of adolescent honesty.

They nicknamed themselves the Placemats, so you'll sometimes see them referred to as the 'Mats. Read the article if you get the chance. The song in the video is originally a Chuck Berry tune, though singer Paul Westerberg makes up a lot of his own lyrics (mostly unintelligible) as he goes along.

Live in '81:



Buy Replacements CDs from Newbury Comics!

Orlando Magic vs. Toronto Raptors Game 4 (Part 2)

YES!!!!

So we go home with three wins under our belt. It was a close game, painful to watch, but we did it. Two clutch threes at the end of the fourth had their intended effect. In spite of a huge showing from Bosh (39 points and 15 boards!), the raptors choked and we took advantage in a big way. Dwight gave another epic performance with 19 points, 16 rebounds, and 8 blocked shots. Also rockin' was Sweet Lew. He hit his threes late to give us hope and sap the last of Toronto's energy. 27 points, 12 grabs off the glass, and 5 assists. Hedo played admirably, if short on heroics. Nelson was player of the night, soldiering on and nabbing 10 of his 18 in the 4th while combatting back spasms and soaring above and beyond expectations.

The Raptors went foul crazy in the last minutes of the 4th, hoping to achieve God knows what. They'll get slaughtered at the Amway Arena next week, so we'll tolerate their childishness for now.

Also:

Suck it, Calderon!!

Orlando Magic vs. Toronto Raptors Game 4 (Part 1)

The game starts in about 20 and I must admit I'm anxious as hell. Toronto is not going to lay down in front of us, and we have to understand that. Read a real interesting comment on that game over at Orlando Magic Blog that highlights a mismatched defensive scheme as another major source of our problems.

As Orlando Sentinel columnist Brian Schmitz notes on his blog, the momentum is on the Raptors' side. We're still in Canada and we're going to have to deal with their reviling home crowd ("Superman sucks!" etc.)

To win we need to lockdown PG T.J. Ford and Jose Calderon and isolate Chris Bosh so he can't make plays. We have some height on our side and we should use this to our advantage. This is a big, big game for us. If we win, we can end the series at home next week. Should we lose, prospects for success in Series 1 will get glum. It'll be an uphill battle and I hope the guys are up to it.

All right, then. Game face on.

Go Magic!

Orlando Magic vs. Toronto Raptors Game 3 (Part 2)

All right. It's going to be okay. Let's not blow things out of proportion. 108-94 Raptors win, but we had a poor shooting night and the refs were tripping on acid or something. It does show that we're not the well-oiled machine that I so desperately wish we would become. In Game 4 this Saturday, we've got to assert our dominance and win it. A victory in Toronto will put us at 3 wins, giving us home court advantage for Game 5.

Dwight had a much quieter night, but was hampered by foul calls (I can't pass too much in the way of judgement, having not actually seen anything yet). Still it seems that we did play hard. Things weren't clicking and it's possible that a shift in the Toronto game plan caught us with our pants down.

Anyway, the rest is beyond my limited analytical powers so I'm signing out. Maybe tomorrow I'll set about making some voodoo dolls of Jose Calderon and Andrea Bargnani.

Orlando Magic vs. Toronto Raptors Game 3 (Part 1)

Maybe it was inevitable, but that doesn't make it any less painful to see the Magic down 40-61 to the Raps at the half. Dwight's playing well, with 15 points and 7 boards, but overall we're not making plays. The Magic seem to have picked up the dangerous habit of relying too heavily on outside shooting. Three's and outside jumpers are only worthwhile if they go in, and if they're not and there's no back up plan, you're screwed. I was really hoping we wouldn't have to deal with a situation like this.

A 21-point deficit is no laughing matter, but I've seen the Magic come back from bleak scoring droughts before. In fact, in the early part of the season, it seemed to be a recurrent trend. In the second half we've got to step up our intensity, make smarter passes and stay out of foul trouble. Jameer in particular has to lock in to his game and both Hedo and Rashard need to start causing problems for T.J. Ford and Jamario Moon defensively.

If Turkoglu, especially, can find his stride and once again prove that he's worthy of being called "Mr. Fourth Quarter" (he hasn't shown nearly as much late-period flair recently), there's a strong chance that we can chalk this one up as a victory.

Fingers crossed.

Orlando Magic vs. Toronto Raptors, Game 2

Above: Magic point guard Jameer Nelson. In Game 2 he played just over 30 minutes, with 12 of his 18 points coming from downtown.

It was a nail-biter by the end but the Magic came out on top Tuesday night. 104-103. Dwight with another awesome game (29 points, 20 rebounds, 3 blocks) and the team still keeping up a high standard of play. Having 2 games up on the Raptors is a big advantage that shouldn't be downplayed (in NBA Playoff history teams that lead a series 2-0 are 191-13).

Game 3 will take place in Toronto tonight, and it'll be tough, but with the Magic's great road record this season (2nd best in the Conference behind the Boston Celtics) they've got a very good opportunity to nab that third straight victory. Continuing success in this series will surely be based on maintaining a vigorous defense (especially in guarding All-Star Chris Bosh), mercilessly snatching rebounds, and keeping cool, level heads.

As for my own personal doubts, I'm a little anxious about the team's self-confidence and endurance, being that Dwight Howard's Magic hasn't yet won an NBA playoff series. D12 has had two fantastic games, but I'd like to see even more contribution from the rest of the squad. On Tuesday, Rashard Lewis came away with 18 points, 6 boards, and 5 assists. Hedo Turkoglu's stat sheet read 12-9-5. These aren't bad numbers, at all, and they don't even tell the whole story. It's difficult for me to appraise the situation, not being able to watch the games, but it seems as though everyone's making a strong effort. Obviously, it'll take more than that to win this series and even more still if we're going to have a good shot against our opponent in round 2 (probably playoff vets Detroit). We're lucky in that we've got a good number of long-range shooters (Hedo and Rashard, "Mogans") who, when allowed to find openings, can wreak serious havoc from three-point land, but it's not something we can rely upon to win games.

Sleepless night. Not really sure how much more of this living situation I can handle. Guess I'm just going to have to deal with it. Here's hoping that the Magic will keep this up and running so I'll have something to distract myself from this ultramodern dung heap.

"Sensibly Talking Endlessly"

Just re-wrote a long book review from scratch (pretty much at the request of the PopMatters book editor). Not so fun, but I think I had some good ideas. Hopefully it’ll go through this time. I’m happy to see that they’ve got standards, anyway.

Watching the Magic game. We’re up by ten with five left in the half, though you can never tell with the dreaded GameCast. I find it difficult to understand why basketball hasn’t taken more of a hold here in the UK. It has almost everywhere else (probably not the Middle East, though). It’s fast-paced, driven by individual heroics as much as team discipline and coordination, and the games are like a capitalist’s wet-dream (beers, hotdogs, t-shirts, hats, beers). It’s beyond me why it hasn’t caught on…Oh no, our lead is cut to four with four still on the clock. Oh, now we’re up five. See what I mean? Best sport ever. Rock on Jim Naismith, great job.

Will update when the game’s over. Shit, we’re only up by three.

…

"Waiting for a Superman" - Orlando Magic / NBA Playoffs '08

This past Sunday marked the beginning of the Orlando Magic’s Conference quarterfinal series in the NBA Playoffs. In their first post-season victory since the mid-90s—and their first playoff win with the colossal presence that is Dwight Howard—the Magic routed the Toronto Raptors 114-100. Of course, it’s hardly a monumental achievement, but at least the opening gambit has come off the way we all hoped it would.

What the 2007-2008 season has proved to many uncertain fans (as the increasing electricity in the air at Amway Arena will attest) is that the Magic is getting closer and closer to assembling the kind of team that’s capable of becoming a serious title-contender in the near future. We need to trim the fat (there will surely be casualties in the coming off-season) and work out the kinks, but there’s definitely a sense that this thing is moving forward in the direction we want it to. How big it will eventually turn out to be is, of course, completely speculative at this point.

At any rate, Game 2 goes down in Orlando tomorrow, and I’m extremely anxious to find out if there’s more to this initial strong showing than just dumb luck. In all honesty, it’s unlikely that we’ll go through to the NBA Finals this time around, but nothing’s impossible. It’s a young team, but it doesn’t lack experienced players (Hedo Turkgolu, Keyon Dooling, Maurice Evans). Anyways, I’m looking forward to a good, long playoff run this year—and yes, I’m extremely upset and disappointed that I won’t be able to see any of the games this year. Anyone want to buy me about a dozen international roundtrip flights?

P.S. I still can't get over this: