Magic beats Boston, Series ends 2-2

Paul Pierce: Touché, Superman, touché.

Perspective:
ESPN Daily Dime "D12"

Two-time Southeast Division champs, baby.

Dwight Howard: defensive player of the year?

I think so.

Magic Grind Out Knicks

Admiral Pornstache's rabble of miscreants utilized considerably balanced scoring and a weird early offensive presence from Chris Wilcox to keep the Magic at bay for over three periods. Lil' Kryptonate opened up late for, like, 19 points, but the would-be giant killer's efforts were hampered by an atrocious 6 for 23 field goals. Elsewise, David Lee had a double-double and Chris "The Gonz" Duhon made 3 of his 5 three-pointers to significantly unsettle me for most of the game.

Still, the Magic came through when it counted, led by Dwight Howard, who rampaged for 29 points, 14 rebounds, 4 blocks and a steal. Second in command was Anesthetic Hymns ultimate fave/man-crush Courtney Lee, who was perfect from the stripe and went 6-8 from the field. He had 22 points and 3 steals.

I'm still upset about the Cavs loss, but this may well be Cleveland's year to start shining. Prasad, I'm looking forward to some shit-talk on Wednesday. How's the 'stache coming?

"You Belch Poison On My Face..."

The Magic re-signed Adonal Foyle, mainly to bring back Dwight's old training buddy. Here's one of the NBA vet's poems (that's right, poetry, people). It's called "Night and Day:"


Fear not ghost of darkness,
Master of night's realm,
Morning's light will not dowse
Your fiery midnight passion,
Locked in my bosom of eternal touch.

Dagger of day pierces your trembling inclination,
Burnishing you with ubiquitous fear of unnatural longing.
A camellia of mundane tranquility,
Serpentines through a chorus
Of unexplored betrayal, of untested feelings.

How you move through night's shade,
With the nobility of kingly privileges,
Steps leaving undeniable prints of passage.
Lestat must have taught you how to rule
The dark heaven of your true calling.

Concealed jealousy waters a sanguine journey,
Of unreachable hope lost in night and day.
Man's path chokes with life's grand design.
Looting animals pray for Shakespearian fall.
Slivers of mistrust precipitate the fall.

Nature's truth undeniable,
Imposing presence trapped by day's glaring rays.
We were naked in the dawn of possibilities
Morning's gloom threatened last night's hopeful union.
Wretched day be gone,
You belch poison upon my face.

You ghost, who walks night's corner and midday's roads,
Proudly displaying a band that masks the dual truth of oneness,
I am savagely in awe. Day walker - night stalker lives an
Indistinguishable truth,
With a simplistic need of survival.

Must not day abandon its heightened chord of war,
And walk in the slippers of "live and let live?"
Night, who clutches our secrets,
Allows mortals a sojourn
From morning sadness and midday blues.

-Adonal Foyle


Not bad. Go HERE for Adonal's official home page.

Magic bench-press Bulls

Photo: ESPN/AP


Final:
Orlando Magic: 107
Chicago Bulls: 79

After a disappointing third loss to the Detroit Pistons in their final meeting of the regular season, the Magic bounced back in a big way tonight, registering a decisive victory against 8th seed hopefuls the Chicago Bulls. The Bulls looked bewildered for most of the night, flustered by an intractable Orlando defense that held them to just 31.4% shooting from the field.

Among the night's top performers was a handful of reserves that included Marcin Gortat, Tony Battie, and J.J. Redick. The Magic played tonight without starting small forward Hedo Turkgolu (Achilles), but were nonetheless able to orchestrate the rout on home turf with a variety of plays that saw them scoring in the paint, at the line, and (late in the second half) from beyond the arc.

The Anesthetic Hymns' starter of the night is rookie Courtney Lee, who hit the bulk of his 14 points in the third period. He also had 6 rebounds and 2 steals.

Our reserves of the night were Battie (18 points, 8 rebounds) and Gortat (13 points, 15 rebounds). This was a heartening game for Orlando, one that proved their second stringers capable of putting away a middle-weight team without the aid of the Turkoglu/Lewis/Nelson scoring phalanx.

Dwight Howard turned in a solid game despite early foul trouble that sidelined him for much of the first half. He finished with 15 points, 9 rebounds, and 3 blocks.

The Magic lost their previous game to the Bulls on February 24th (102-120). Their leading scorers in tonight's contest were John Salmons (18 points, 8 rebounds) and Brad Miller (11 points, 6 rebounds). This was the teams' final meeting of the regular season, with the series standing at 3-1 Magic. With this victory the Magic are 47-17 and remain the 3rd seed in the East.


Full box score at Yahoo! Sports

Magic douse Celtics

Magic: 86
Celtics: 79

BOSTON–The Magic nixed the chance of a regular-season sweep by the Celtics today. Victory at the Garden saw four of the Magic's starters scoring in double digits along with a 25-point contribution from the team's increasingly formidable reserve list. While this wasn't a safe game by any stretch, the outcome of the contest was largely defined by Boston's lack of scoring options (point guard Rajon Rondo and power forward Kevin Garnett are both out with injuries).

The Magic offense has been intensely hampered by the loss of starting PG Jameer Nelson, out with a season-ending shoulder injury since the beginning of last month. Nonetheless, GM Otis Smith's outstanding deal-brokering just before trade deadline has brought the team a seasoned distributor in the form of ex-Rocket PG Rafer Alston. Following the team's disheartening performances with stopgap trade Tyronn Lue at the 1, the move was applauded by Magic fans the world over.

Alston, aside from being an erratic finisher, has indeed provided the Magic with the genuine hope of a respectable playoff showing and is considered a tremendous addition to the franchise for the threat he will represent as back-up PG next year. He hit 10 points in today's game, adding 8 assists and a steal.

In spite of Dwight Howard's whopping 5 blocks, the Anesthetic Hymns' player of the game was Rashedo Turkoglewis, who hit an amalgamated 31 points to overcome the afternoon's general foul trouble.

The Celtics were led by a searing Ray Allen (AKA Jesus Shuttlesworth), who stepped out of his role-playing position to drop 32 for the Big Green Giant. Big Baby Davis sustained a leg injury in the second half and Starbury, looking weird and dull in Boston gear, hit a long two.

Check out the full box score at Yahoo! Sports: Orlando 86, Boston 79

The Magic meet Boston in their final regular-season match-up in Orlando on Wednesday, March 25.

Jacko to play 10 farewell shows in London...

From the NY Times/Reuters:

"Mr. Jackson, 50, revealed the details of the concerts at a news conference in London, where he said he would perform 10 shows at the O2 Arena, beginning July 8."

Apparently, he's going to be "'performing the songs [his] fans want to hear."

I simply cannot believe Michael Jackson is 50 years old.

Buy tickets and stuff here: michaeljackson.com

Talkin' Shmaq

Phoenix Suns center and all-around bully Shaquille O'Neal ranted to the press today about the shortcomings of Magic coach Stan Van Gundy, "despising" him as a "frontrunner" sure to crumble in the postseason.

According to ESPN.com, O'Neal "used the word 'despise' at least a half dozen times" and made a special effort to see that his quote, "Now I see why everybody who plays for him doesn't like him," would be printed.

Here at Anesthetic Hymns, we don't take too kindly to the gripes of cutthroat career types like Mr. O'Neal: players who jump ship to secure rings at the expense of not just franchise, but also civic loyalty. I'll admit that an athlete needs to consider his legacy, that he ought to be able to go where he feels he can be a contender. Still, I'll always be bitter about Shaq because of that infuriating attitude of his.

It's no comfort to know that in five years time he'll surely have a part-time gig as a TNT sportscaster, snatching headlines for DUIs and tiresome, inane ego trips. The name "Shaquille O'Neal" will coax conversations about felled hoop systems, shattered fiber glass, extreme arrogance. It'll be way worse than Charles Barkley (who, in all honesty, is probably doing exactly the job he should).

Why can't ol' 32 just leave the league already and devote himself entirely to the Twittering of his life's meaningless luxury? Why can't the guy show some respect for his fellow players and coaches?

Blah, blah, blah: