It's a Frohawk, Yo

The Grammys blew like it always does, but at least we all had a good laugh.

With that said, it'll now take nothing short of a rainbow rasterbation of some impossible Kurt Cobain / Jimi Hendrix hybrid to spark my interest in a televised awards show. My biggest complaint was that the two performances featuring Lil Wayne were dull as hell. Where was "A Milli?"

Okay, so the fact that smiley-faced mom and dad rock swept at the podium was pretty unremarkable. As for Radiohead's castrated romp alongside those regimental nothings from the University of Spoiled Children, let's just pretend that shit never happened.

In retrospect, the whole thing just seemed rushed, with distracted performer/presenters caught up in a flurry of bad jokes and Twitter jitters. Personal highlights included Katy Perry's descent to the stage in a gilded banana capsule, Kate Beckinsale, and Gwyneth Paltrow.

If I could've written the program, it would've run like this:

Al Green featuring Raphael Saadiq and Q-Tip
"We Fight We Love" / "Let's Stay Together"

Katy Perry featuring William Shatner and a bunch of fruit
"I Kissed A Girl"

Estelle featuring Kanye West
"American Boy"

Weezer featuring Michael Jackson live from Qatar via satellite uplink
"Everybody Get Dangerous" / "Dangerous"

Adele featuring Christian Bale
"Chasing Pavements" / "No, Bruce, let me finish!"

Paul McCartney featuring Dave Grohl, Keith Richards, and Prince
"I Want You (She's So Heavy)" / "Scentless Apprentice"

Lil Wayne featuring Marilyn Manson
"Prom Queen"

A Tribute to Prasad & The Patils: Ne-Yo, Jamie Foxx, Smokey Robinson and Stevie Wonder
"Blue Moon" / "Moonlight Bay" / "Death Blow"

Goodbye Old Yeller
The Public Execution of Coldplay by Sarah Dupuis

Requiem: M.I.A.
"Paper Planes"

Radiohead featuring Chali2na and Amplive
"Reckoner" / "Reckonerz"

Miley Cyrus and Billy Ray Cyrus
"Lemon Incest"

Okay, okay, maybe not that last thing.

Lil Wayne On The Fast Track To Becoming the Next David Bowie

A trend that appears to be resurfacing these days is the hip-hop artist crossing over into rock music. Kanye insisted that 808s & Heartbreaks was a pop album and that certain emotions within his heart"couldn't be expressed through rapping". Under the alias Percival Fats, Lupe Fiasco has started a rock outfit known as Japanese Cartoon which lists such indie dignitaries as Hunter S. Thompson and Joy Division as influences. The whole project reminds me of Gorillaz sans the originality and authentic British accent.

It now appears that artiste extraordinaire Lil Wayne is joining the fray:

According to up-and-coming Canadian hip-hop artist Drake, Lil Wayne has been hard at work on a rock-oriented follow-up to last year's blockbuster Tha Carter III "Wayne's coming out with a new album, it's a rock album. A complete rock album," Drake said, before explaining his new direction was partially inspired by Kanye West's ambitious new record, 808s and Heartbreaks

Awesome. Rock and roll is officially cool again with trailblazers like Lil Wayne at the helm. We can likely attribute some of this newfound interest to the phenomena of plastic instrument music games. I, for one, welcome our new musical overlords if it means more of this:

Let's all give a round of applause to the meanest shredder since Fred Durst!

Kanye West jayled!

Touchdown!!!!

I would assume that having the paparazzos incessantly hound you at airports would become an annoyance. I would assume, too, that being a major celeb involves several other downsides. Question: the point of these assumptions? Answer: perhaps the most unexciting post AH has seen in some days.

If you're not already clicking the "Back" button, you're perhaps desperately bored enough to note that jet setter / Daft Punk fan Kanye West lashed out at some photographers at the LA Airport yesterday morning, According to MSNBC, the artist's "notoriously fickle temper boiled over." And how. West was - presumably - seized and detained for a few hours. He was released on $20,000 bail - a sum he's likely to have forked over in "straight cash, homey!"

Randy Moss declined to comment on the events.

Ed: On a more serious note, Randy Moss is way cooler than Kanye West.