Marcus Jordan to attend UCF

From the Orlando Sentinel:

On a high school team with at least six Division I prospects, Marcus Jordan averaged 16.8 points, 8.5 rebounds and 3.2 assists in Whitney Young's seven-game playoff run.

He finished with a game-high 19 points, five rebounds in the Class 4A state championship. Jordan played tough defense on 6-foot-7-inch Jereme Richmond, helping Whitney Young record a 69-66 win over Waukegan for the state title.

From our favorite inside source at UCF housing:

"Too bad I'm quitting this summer, he's going to be living in the towers next year. I could see how that conversation would go...
"Hey my name's Marcus"
"Hey I'm the RA on the floor"
"O and this is my dad Michael"
...
...
...
(Vomit)
...
...
(run away)
..."

The tapes:





See also:

ESPN.com

Talkin' Shmaq

Phoenix Suns center and all-around bully Shaquille O'Neal ranted to the press today about the shortcomings of Magic coach Stan Van Gundy, "despising" him as a "frontrunner" sure to crumble in the postseason.

According to ESPN.com, O'Neal "used the word 'despise' at least a half dozen times" and made a special effort to see that his quote, "Now I see why everybody who plays for him doesn't like him," would be printed.

Here at Anesthetic Hymns, we don't take too kindly to the gripes of cutthroat career types like Mr. O'Neal: players who jump ship to secure rings at the expense of not just franchise, but also civic loyalty. I'll admit that an athlete needs to consider his legacy, that he ought to be able to go where he feels he can be a contender. Still, I'll always be bitter about Shaq because of that infuriating attitude of his.

It's no comfort to know that in five years time he'll surely have a part-time gig as a TNT sportscaster, snatching headlines for DUIs and tiresome, inane ego trips. The name "Shaquille O'Neal" will coax conversations about felled hoop systems, shattered fiber glass, extreme arrogance. It'll be way worse than Charles Barkley (who, in all honesty, is probably doing exactly the job he should).

Why can't ol' 32 just leave the league already and devote himself entirely to the Twittering of his life's meaningless luxury? Why can't the guy show some respect for his fellow players and coaches?

Blah, blah, blah:

Keeping Them Honest

Last night I had the pleasure of staying up until 5 AM watching Team USA fend off the Spaniards right down to the wire for the gold medal. Having trampled the Spanish team with a 30+ point margin of victory when they met on the 15th, I naively assumed the Americans could just mail it in and win. Granted, I wouldn't have called it clean game by any stretch. The Spaniards fooled the officials with egregious flops throughout and were given free passes on several blatant travels. Priorities were placed squarely on offense, both teams ranged from mediocre to terrible on defense.

What caught me off guard was seeing guys like Juan Carlos Navarro and Rudy Fernandez cruising past NBA superstars for easy buckets. We all have our fantasy trade scenarios of seeing LeBron, Kobe, Kevin Garnett, and Dwight Howard on the same squad but watching the game last night put into perspective how stacking a team with immense talent doesn't equal easy success. I suppose you could also chalk up some of the deficiencies to Coach K's overly aggressive pressure defense method and the fact that the US team had to play small ball against the much taller Spanish team. I also don't particularly care for the distilled FIBA ruleset that overlooks key violations and rim interference.

All things considered, the offensive spectacle was visceral. Laser threes by Kobe and Wade, sharp cuts to the hoop by Lebron, and the occasional monster dunk provided by D12. In spite of the aforementioned, Team USA could never pull away for good as the Spaniards kept bringing themselves back into the contest. Their strength on the offensive boards truly brought pain upon the Americans, bringing their lead to just a few points as the fourth quarter began to wind down. With only a little over a minute left in the game, Kobe silenced all of Spain as he drew a 4-point play with a clutch three that benched Rudy Fernandez for the remainder of the game. The Spaniards lost their composure following that gaffe and earned a technical foul, by then it was essentially over as Springsteen's "Born In The USA" started playing over the arena PA while the American bench celebrated. Redeem team indeed, well done Team USA.




P.S. Carmelo Anthony still sucks.