Goddam Job, Alcohol is the new Cocaine, Mavis Staples

Above: Unnamed smoothie company forces employees to wear banana suits. Bystanders play the world's smallest violin.

I.

I've had many gripes over my twenty-one years. I complain a lot, it's just something I do. It therefore goes without saying that whenever I try to look for a job, the process is never a quiet one. I suppose I should have expected nothing from the NYC job market. And, for what it's worth, I really did try to expect nothing. Still, the bitterness I feel about it remains. But what canya do? You try to get a job writing something for someone. Almost anyone. As long as it isn't that damn Skynet industries or whatever that's always looking for interns and journeymen and what-have-yous on craigslist. Don't they know they're responsible for the terminator and the destruction of human civilization as we know it? What do you have to settle for? An interview with some trendy 5 or 6 out of 10 star pizza joint. I really tried to expect nothing and triumph. I've seen it work out before. But really, the deal is that you've got to be superconnected in this town. To money. Ancient money. That, or you've gotta be Hollywood Actor Beck Bristow. Chrissakes.

For more "I hate jobs" related stuff. Go to CODE 11, a sweet blog.

II.

Alcohol is the new cocaine. In the '80s people did coke. Also, this was true of the '70s. In the '60s it was weed and acid and fungus. The '90s were all about speed and ecstasy. I feel like the aughts is a throwback decade. (Yes, that empty) Right now we're re-living the heady epoch that immediately followed Prohibition. This period is known as the Great Depression.

III.

Mavis Staples is incredible. If you think you don't know her, you probably do. Either that or you've never heard "I'll Take You There," which says a lot about your character. Specifically, that it wants edge and vitality. I'm sorry I'm being so vicious. Well, only slightly sorry.


Below: Mavis Staples - "Eyes on the Prize"

Keeping Them Honest

Last night I had the pleasure of staying up until 5 AM watching Team USA fend off the Spaniards right down to the wire for the gold medal. Having trampled the Spanish team with a 30+ point margin of victory when they met on the 15th, I naively assumed the Americans could just mail it in and win. Granted, I wouldn't have called it clean game by any stretch. The Spaniards fooled the officials with egregious flops throughout and were given free passes on several blatant travels. Priorities were placed squarely on offense, both teams ranged from mediocre to terrible on defense.

What caught me off guard was seeing guys like Juan Carlos Navarro and Rudy Fernandez cruising past NBA superstars for easy buckets. We all have our fantasy trade scenarios of seeing LeBron, Kobe, Kevin Garnett, and Dwight Howard on the same squad but watching the game last night put into perspective how stacking a team with immense talent doesn't equal easy success. I suppose you could also chalk up some of the deficiencies to Coach K's overly aggressive pressure defense method and the fact that the US team had to play small ball against the much taller Spanish team. I also don't particularly care for the distilled FIBA ruleset that overlooks key violations and rim interference.

All things considered, the offensive spectacle was visceral. Laser threes by Kobe and Wade, sharp cuts to the hoop by Lebron, and the occasional monster dunk provided by D12. In spite of the aforementioned, Team USA could never pull away for good as the Spaniards kept bringing themselves back into the contest. Their strength on the offensive boards truly brought pain upon the Americans, bringing their lead to just a few points as the fourth quarter began to wind down. With only a little over a minute left in the game, Kobe silenced all of Spain as he drew a 4-point play with a clutch three that benched Rudy Fernandez for the remainder of the game. The Spaniards lost their composure following that gaffe and earned a technical foul, by then it was essentially over as Springsteen's "Born In The USA" started playing over the arena PA while the American bench celebrated. Redeem team indeed, well done Team USA.




P.S. Carmelo Anthony still sucks.

Fats Wallin' - Here Comes Blubberlubber The Book!

For fans of cartoons the world over.

My friend Dan Hay, a cartoonist in Florida, is putting out a book of his one-a-day sketches entitled Blubberlubber. The book's going to be available online via artsquaredbooks.com very shortly. More details as they come...


Dan maintains a hilarious blog of the same name right here: CLICK ME!

"Goin' Back"

Fresh from viewing Christopher Nolan's entirely non-specific (though brilliant) noirish Gotham, my roommates and I are on the verge of signing a lease on a Brooklyn Appartment. Consequently I'm looking at a move back to the City in the coming weeks.

As for summertime in Florida, it's been like the ultimate (free) power cleanse. Don't call it that in public, though. It's the sweat, you know. The constant sweating, it, like, renews you. After a few minutes of "tha sweltah" you're basically beyond the point of complaint. Still, expect to hear things like, "This heat is just insane!" Just chime in with an affirmative response. Something like, "Amen brother!" will do. In the end it's all just an attempt at small talk. Your unconscious response to a lifetime of awkward silences.

I've never spent a summer in New York City. I guess if I had to put my expectations into words they would be: "tha sweltah 2: gittin' dirrrrtay"

Dirrrtay dirrtay,

ST

It's Still Half-Time, Right? (Update)

Best of '08 prospectives:

Best new albums:

Thirst for Romance - Cherry Ghost
Do You Like Rock Music? - British Sea Power

Best classic revisited

Whatever and Ever Amen - Ben Folds Five

Best new songs:

"Mysterious Skin" - Orphans & Vandals
"Gobbledigook" - Sigur Ros
"Hear Ya Dance" - Andre Miller & The New Orleans Hellhounds
"Hopscotch Willie" - Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks
"More News From Nowhere" - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Best comic book read:

Watchmen - Alan Moore
The Killing Joke - Alan Moore

Best sports team ever:

Orlando Magic

Best new film:

The Dark Knight

Best TV Show:

Battlestar Galactica

Most Commanding Presence:

Barack Obama

Hottest Babe on Plane:t

Hillary Rodham Clinton
Chan Marshall





More categories to come??