Anderson, It Was Really Nothing

Today, in a blog post bemoaning the lack of journalistic access to Anderson Cooper's guarded personal life, the Huffington Post finally paid heed to its schoolgirlish sexual frustration over the CNN celebrity news anchor's perceived carnal indifference. Writer Danny Shea, panties obviously in a bunch, could barely control his lusty denouncement of CNN's complicity in what he essentially deems a deplorable example of unjustified P.R. shielding.

He argues, accordingly, that the intimate activities of "America's boyfriend," as he calls Cooper, ought to be inflexibly transparent. How else, friends and countrymen, are we supposed to tell whether or not he's been cheating on us?

In his post, Shea also references the fact that Greta van Susteren and Keith Olbermann have publicly derided this CNN/Cooper conspiracy to mask the truth. Indeed, they have in their own ways jealously referred to the cold-blooded reporter as a shameless "experiment" in mass marketing.

(Ah, but Greta my dear, remember when you, too, were marketable?)

Olbermann, in an interview with Men's Journal, lashed out by saying, "You can't move this big mass of personal stuff out for public display [referring to Cooper's memoirs about the deaths of his father and brother], then people ask questions and you say, 'Oh, no, I didn't say there was going to be any questions.' It's the same thing as the Bush administration saying, 'We're going to war, but you really aren't allowed to know why.' "

This level of outrage seems more than a little disproportionate to the alleged crime. I mean, really Mr. Olbermann? Is Anderson Cooper's (admittedly) prudish reticence over the details of his personal life actually tantamount to the Bush administration's avoidance of explaining the war in Iraq? Let's be honest, now.

Odds are, people will soon get over their restless desires for all the dirty details on this mysterious, slate-gray Aryan. It's just the way of the world in this age of ADHD. The age of iPhones and Blackberries. Sooner or later, though, we'll all have to move on to more important things, like why is there such a dearth of interesting and responsible journalism on TV?

As to the scintillating gossip about Cooper's sexual preference, why not just transfer the issue over to this guy:



It's been done before.