Snickers, Eat Snickers!

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Kanye West jayled!

Touchdown!!!!

I would assume that having the paparazzos incessantly hound you at airports would become an annoyance. I would assume, too, that being a major celeb involves several other downsides. Question: the point of these assumptions? Answer: perhaps the most unexciting post AH has seen in some days.

If you're not already clicking the "Back" button, you're perhaps desperately bored enough to note that jet setter / Daft Punk fan Kanye West lashed out at some photographers at the LA Airport yesterday morning, According to MSNBC, the artist's "notoriously fickle temper boiled over." And how. West was - presumably - seized and detained for a few hours. He was released on $20,000 bail - a sum he's likely to have forked over in "straight cash, homey!"

Randy Moss declined to comment on the events.

Ed: On a more serious note, Randy Moss is way cooler than Kanye West.

Hymns Gets (Somewhat) Timely, OR Why Suge Knight is One Scary Mofo

Marion "Suge" Knight was arrested and jailed a couple of weeks ago for beating the crap out of his girlfriend of three years. It all went down outside a Spearmint Rhino on the Vegas Strip at around 6:00am one Wednesday morning. Now, I always thought Suge was a terrifying person, but let's just see if we can get the facts (and, while we're at it, all the rumors) straight. So, according to the AP,

- He was convicted of assault in '92 and then incarcerated in '96 for 5 years for violating parole.

- In 2003 he returned to jail for a year after violating parole by punching out a Hollywood parking attendant.

- On top of these things, he's a total gangster. He was present in 1996 when Tupac was shot to death (this also happened in Las Vegas) AND he was wounded during a shooting at a Miami nightclub just three years ago.

Now, on top of all that, he's reputed to have hung Vanilla Ice upside down from a hotel balcony in the early nineties, demanding that he sign over his royalty rights to "Ice Ice Baby." This was done when he worked as Ice's bodyguard. It also may or may not be true, since Vanilla rescinded the claim later on (probably out of fear). Furthermore, Dr. Dre allegedly has a restraining order out on the guy AND suspicion continues to surround him regarding both the killings of Tupac and Biggie (this summer he was formally accused of sending death threats to one of the witnesses in the case).

As of April 2006, Death Row Records - the label he co-founded with Dre in '91 - is bankrupt. Knight recently announced his new label, BlackBall (Not this Blackball), as reported on AllHipHop.com. It's first signee is a dude called Young Life. Meanwhile, Suge has apparently self-produced a reality TV show called "Unfinished Business." Here's the Wiki down-low:

The show is based on Knight dispelling long-standing rumors in sit down interviews, his days with Death Row and the artists he worked with, and finding new talent for his record label. As of June 2008, the show has not been picked up by any major network.

Here's what Suge said to Urban Flavorz TV: "It ain’t like the fake reality shit." (Read more at AllHipHop.com)

I'd be willing to bet that this dude is seriously pissed right now. It goes without saying, then, that I fear for our man Young Life.

Click HERE for the "Unfinished Business" trailer at rapbasement.com


BELOW: So afraid of the Big Bad Suge





Yo VIP! Let's kick it!

The Box Tops: "The Letter"

What I'd like to dub "proportionally sound" blue-eyed soul. Alex Chilton would never again favor these vocal stylings, only occasionally pulling them out on tracks like "Don't Lie to Me." Enjoy.



Also, for those of you who don't know:




Pretty mega.

Goddam Job, Alcohol is the new Cocaine, Mavis Staples

Above: Unnamed smoothie company forces employees to wear banana suits. Bystanders play the world's smallest violin.

I.

I've had many gripes over my twenty-one years. I complain a lot, it's just something I do. It therefore goes without saying that whenever I try to look for a job, the process is never a quiet one. I suppose I should have expected nothing from the NYC job market. And, for what it's worth, I really did try to expect nothing. Still, the bitterness I feel about it remains. But what canya do? You try to get a job writing something for someone. Almost anyone. As long as it isn't that damn Skynet industries or whatever that's always looking for interns and journeymen and what-have-yous on craigslist. Don't they know they're responsible for the terminator and the destruction of human civilization as we know it? What do you have to settle for? An interview with some trendy 5 or 6 out of 10 star pizza joint. I really tried to expect nothing and triumph. I've seen it work out before. But really, the deal is that you've got to be superconnected in this town. To money. Ancient money. That, or you've gotta be Hollywood Actor Beck Bristow. Chrissakes.

For more "I hate jobs" related stuff. Go to CODE 11, a sweet blog.

II.

Alcohol is the new cocaine. In the '80s people did coke. Also, this was true of the '70s. In the '60s it was weed and acid and fungus. The '90s were all about speed and ecstasy. I feel like the aughts is a throwback decade. (Yes, that empty) Right now we're re-living the heady epoch that immediately followed Prohibition. This period is known as the Great Depression.

III.

Mavis Staples is incredible. If you think you don't know her, you probably do. Either that or you've never heard "I'll Take You There," which says a lot about your character. Specifically, that it wants edge and vitality. I'm sorry I'm being so vicious. Well, only slightly sorry.


Below: Mavis Staples - "Eyes on the Prize"