So the underdogs couldn't overcome a motivated Kobe Bryant with a Springsteen underbite. Pau Gasol redeemed himself after last final's disappearing act and Derek Fisher decided to be clutch after being considered borderline worthless the previous three rounds. And thus, the Magicians fell in 5 games. Them's the breaks.
No problem, I can take plenty of solace that the scrappy, live-by-the-three-die-by-the-three Magic were able to overcome the '91 Chicago Bulls Reincarnated aka the Cleveland Cavaliers. All those ESPN analysts and their years of experience in following the NBA sure proved useful there. Let's take a look again just to make sure:
Oops. Made a mistake. This is the correct one:
There we are.
Over-The-Hill NBA Loudmouth and Tweetér Aficionado Shaquille O'Neal was perhaps the biggest loser in all of this. Stan Van Gundy panicked his way into the NBA Finals while Kobe secured a ring without the overweight gasbag's assistance. Word from the grapevine is that the ole Diesel wants out of Phoenix and may be headed to Cleveland to team up with Bron Bron. Reeks of a desperation move by both sides, Snaq is reeling for that 5th ring and the Cavalier front office is in "must find someone to matchup to Dwight Howard" mode. Of course the obvious answer to that problem is to employ a lazy, overpaid 37-year-old block of concrete who's also a potential locker room cancer. Right.
Moving forward, crazed swingman Hedo Turkoglu is up for free agency. The good news is that Magic management is willing to open the pocketbook a little wider and allow the team to go into luxury tax to sign him. Guess Rich DeVos' pyramid schemes are going swimmingly. In addition to Hedo being resigned, getting rid of the dead weight that is Tony Battie for a better power forward (Antonio McDyess please) is another likely objective.
Another pressing issue is what to do with Rafer Alston. It became clear during the Finals that he was uncomfortable being benched for long periods of time as starting point-guard Jameer Nelson was finally healthy enough to get some burn. I question whether bringing Nelson back was a good idea, however I couldn't tell who between Alston or Nelson was coming back from a 4-month injury. I believe at one point in the series, Alston was shooting at a scorching 17% from the field. Dragging a team through the mud with shitty shot selection, bad passes, and general ball-hogging doesn't really bring your stock up. Rafer's pretty much roadkill for the team's future.
So that's that. This year's draft pretty much blows ass. It's essentially Blake Griffin and a throng of primadonna point guards who'll eventually become role players. McLame. Free agency will be more interesting, the Detroit Pistons are having a firesale and the New Orleans Hornets are hemorrhaging money with pretty much everyone aside from Chris Paul being a financial liability. The landscape could be very different come November.
Two more things:
-The celebrity gossip circuit has been hinting that Rihanna apparently has the hots for Rashard (Money) Lewis. I guess she wants in on that 120 million dollar contract of his.
-Batshit insane Houston Rockets small forward Ron Artest's twitter validates the entire service. With choice quotes such as:
"Yo maybe I should ball in Europe. Got offered 20 mil, a boat, and I can start 1 brawl a year, no questions asked. They got a Detroit there?"
"People be takin' my tweets as too sincere. This bidness is just a joke, like American Bandstand, not serious shit like Soul Train."
Rich. Look forward to posts (finally) about music again.
